Since You've Worked So Hard

Since you have all worked so hard this week, here are some lighter moments to brighten up your day. Below are 30 captions from real medical record documentation;

1. Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.

2. The patient was seen by Dr. Johnston who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

3. She has no rigors or shaking chills but her husband said she was very hot in bed last night.

4. Examination of the genitalia revealed that he was circus sized

5. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might want to work her up.

6. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be very depressed.

7. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

8. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

9. Healthy appearing, decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

10. The patient refused autopsy.

11. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

12. The patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

13. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 lb. weight gain in the last three days.

14. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

15. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

16. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

17. She is numb from her toes down.

18. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

19. The skin was moist and dry.

20. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

21. The patient was alert and unresponsive. 22. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

23. She stated she had been constipated her whole life until she got a divorce.

24. I saw your patient today who is still under our car for physical therapy.

25. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

26. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

27. The lab test indicted abnormal lover function.

28. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead. 29. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

30. The pelvic will be done later on the floor.

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